MyTestimony

The first time I distinctly remember feeling the Holy Ghost is when I was 13. I was living in St. George Ut. at the time and going to Middle School. It was late one school night and I should have gone to sleep, but my mom and I got into a conversation about agency and liberty and what those Alma 61:15) I didn't know that was the Holy Ghost then. I would not learn to recognize it until years later while I was on my mission. 

mean to us. She took the time in the middle of the night to teach. I felt her patriotic feelings and the Holy Ghost bore testimony to what she said as being true. (See

My second encounter with the spirit of God occurred while I was 15, more than two years later. Many things had changed in my life over that course of time. We were now living in Woodland Hills, a tiny community at the south end of Utah Valley. The name, coincidentally is very literal: there were a lot of hills and a lot of trees, shrub oak in fact. I thought it might be wise to see if the religion I was practicing was true. I read much out of the Book of Mormon, but paid special attention to Joseph Smith's History. I followed Joseph's example and retired to the woods to pray and ask if God was there. I didn't receive a full answer then. I was told to study deeper and out of all subjects and I would receive an answer at a further date. 

Over the course of four years, I did study. Out of the scriptures, of course, and also many other books as well. Much of my young testimony was built on my intellectual understanding. Great authors such as John Locke, Immanuel Kant, Tacitus, Socrates, Josephus, and a slough of others. In the words of Petrarch "Books have led some to wisdom, and other's it has led to madness." I would say that is true. My testimony in the gospel has been built up by them. Others I have seen have turned away because of them. In any case, I came to know the character and nature of God through this means. 

In The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, every worthy young man and young woman are given the opportunity to serve a proselyting mission to some foreign and preselected part of the globe. I knew God was real and I knew it was my duty and privilege to serve. So I took the leap of faith and came out here to New York City. 

The Spirit had been working on me during this whole prelude to what would be the most spiritual experience of my life. 20 months ago I was a brand new missionary being trained by an older missionary getting ready to go home. I was kneeling at my bed alone. The soft glow of a desk lamp illuminating the room in its sleepy-warm light. I was praying. In the middle of my prayer, I lost my words and just sat and thought. A story from the Bible had entered my mind, the one where Abraham is asked to sacrifice Isaac. The story was a little disturbing to me. Is God so jealous that he would want you to do something wrong just to see if you would be obedient?

Then. Right then, I realized what God was trying to do; it wasn't a simple lesson in obedience, although that was a big  part of it. Abraham was taught that God is a Father. One day in the distant future, God was going to have to sacrifice His only begotten Son, Jesus Christ for the sins of the world. It wasn't going to be any obedience test for him, he would have to do it. Abraham offering Isaac was a way God had prepared to teach Abraham a very powerful object lesson. Abraham got to feel what God had to go through. 

There is a scripture from the Book of Mormon I found a month after the experience that describes what I felt: 

"4 For, for this intent have we written these things, that they may know that we knew of Christ, and we had a hope of his glory many hundred years before his coming; and not only we ourselves had a hope of his glory, but also all the holy prophets which were before us.

5 Behold, they believed in Christ and worshiped the Father in his name, and also we worship the Father in his name. And for this intent we keep the law of Moses, it pointing our souls to him; and for this cause it is sanctified unto us for righteousness, even as it was accounted unto Abraham in the wilderness to be obedient unto the commands of God in offering up his son Isaac, which is a similitude of God and his Only Begotten Son."

The "similitude of God and his only begotten Son" is most important. That truth which I understood that night led me to ponder and ask myself "how does God feel about all this?" That is when the spirit came. It felt like pure love filling my heart to the brim. God was there with me and I know it. Nothing in this world, whether it be by the power of men's reason or sophistry can dissuade me of what I felt that night. God is real! For I felt his spirit with me. 

Since then my testimony has grown in various ways. Miracles, trials, doubt, and faith. I later gained a more sure testimony of the spirit that the Book of Mormon is true, among other aspects on maters of faith. A testimony is not a destination; it is a journey. I discovered that a testimony is a growing process and it is gained by exercising faith. An answer will come, a quite, peaceful answer; for, miracles do not produce salvation; but repentance and the feelings of the spirit does. I know that you to can come to feel what I felt; to know what I came to know.